Nearly there.

Twenty to 11 on Tuesday night 12th March. It’s taken a year to get to this point. The flat is almost clean, and I’m leaving for France in 4 days time to start my walk on the Camino France’s. Every body keeps asking me if I’m am excited, no I’m not excited I’m bloody terrified. It’s amazing what the right diagnosis and therapy can do for a person. I can honestly say that a little over a year ago I could not have put a name to most emotions apart from anger and perhaps sad or depressed.  I can hardly believe that this is actually going to happen, I have said to a good friend of mine that I feel as if I am at the limit of what a person with BPD (border line personality disorder) can handle. But can I really say that knowing that for the last ten years it’s been all I can manage to just exist. I have no idea of what I am really capable of, until I actually step outside of the small world I have existed in for so long. I have challenged a great deal in the last year, and every time it’s has seemed almost impossible but here I am about to go public with my blog.